What not to do when you're taking a siccie:
Do not SMS a colleague and ask them if they want to meet for coffee. That colleague (Blonde Bloke) might be in the teachers' room and might tell everyone else there about it.
Needless to say that Pompous Ponce is livid about it.
I'd hate to be New Girl when she returns from being ill next week.
Sorry for the absence. Regular service has resumed.